I'm lost and stupid without you.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
