Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
