I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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