I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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