Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
