But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
