People with herpes should wear stickers.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
