im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
