its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
