unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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