So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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