Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
