apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
