Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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