I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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