Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
