If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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