Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
