3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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