im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
