Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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