I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize