let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
