dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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