Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think my mom watched the whole time
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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