Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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