My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
