Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
