So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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