Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
