I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
