i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
