I smell stomach acid.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
