Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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