I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And then the night went full on bisexual.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
