what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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