His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Jerry, you need to find god
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's no shave November. This is our time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
