Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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