Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
