And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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