if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
