so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize