Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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