I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
