she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize