Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
