ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
