I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
