So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
