my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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