i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
