I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize