...so i touched it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
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I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.