How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it