New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
