Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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