I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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