Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
