You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
