I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE