Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA