Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating