ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
