I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
